Curiousity Killed the Bird
by Fairady
Summary: There are just some things guys are better off not knowing, Robin realized too late.


Disclaimer: I neither own nor make money off of this. DC owns the rights and they can do as they please with the characters anytime. I'm just asking for a few minutes with them.

Warning: Cliche fic ahead! Watch as I pull out one of the most commonly used plot devices to do absolutely nothing. Bashing of Cassie. Yes these warnings are needed because I can barely stand this fic as is.

Notes: *sighs* I don't even really like this anymore. You'll have to forgive the characterization of Cassie, this was written during a time when I really didn't like her. Unfortunately I can't figure out a way to rewrite it without the bashing. *winces* Damn, why did I make that such a needed part to the fic anyway?

Curiosity Killed the Bird  
by Fairady

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He knew he should have left it alone. There were just some things that guys weren't meant to know about. Especially things about women. Things like periods, the secrets to wearing high heels with mini-skirts, and the correct answer to, 'Does this make me look fat?'

All of them things of which Robin, quite unfortunately, knew. He'd spent way too much time with the Birds recently and had gotten a crash course in the physiology and psychology of women. Which was how he knew something was up when the girls started giggling.

It wasn't that they didn't giggle a lot. Usually they'd giggle over the latest gossip, the newest hottie, or the latest Bart related incident. So it wasn't unusual for Cassie, Cissie, and Anita to be giggling. No, what alerted him that something was up was that they always did it as soon as they thought he was out of hearing range. It didn't take a genius to figure out that whatever it was they were giggling about involved him.

And that piqued his curiosity. Bad curiosity, bad.

Robin started to monitor them a bit more closely trying to get an idea of what they were doing. He discovered it wasn't just him who was getting the giggles. Kon, Ray, Bart, and occasionally Slobo where all giggled over. The girls could have been debating which guy was the cutest, but those conversations never really lasted so long. It took him a bit to figure out where it was all coming from, but he eventually caught on.

Tim sat at the monitor and pulled up the log files. The girls had all been spending an awful lot of time on the internet recently. Usually when none of the guys were in. Bypassing the security Robin easily logged on under Cas' id. He found nothing unusual in her saved folders and went for the internet. Opening her links he found a long list of URLs.

Scanning through them he dismissed half of them as useless boy band sites. The newest links looked like the ones the log report had indicated as being visited. Frequently.

Robin paused for a moment wondering for the first time if he should leave it alone. Sure it was unnerving to be constantly giggled over, but it wasn't anything malicious. He hoped. Did he really want to know what was going on?

Eh, what harm could it do? Robin mentally shrugged and clicked the newest link.

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And that brought him to where he was now. Curiosity didn't just kill cats, it was an equal opportunity killer.

He'd known from recent experience that some women liked the idea of seeing two men together, but he'd never really thought about it. Denial being a wonderful coping mechanism. 'Some women' when transferred through the population quickly became a lot of women. And men, and girls, and boys. It was a lot of people.

Robin sat back and rubbed at his head. He was still absorbing the knowledge that there were thousands of people in this country alone who thought a lot about superheroes having sex with their same-sex teammates. Thought about it enough to write very detailed scenes about it. Some of which were actually pretty accurate in physical appearance and mannerisms. He'd probably be a bit more surprised or shocked if he hadn't spent the previous week fielding Black Canary's sexual innuendos.

He wasn't looking forward to telling Batman about this. What was he thinking? As paranoid as Bruce was he probably already knew all about this. That was why he kept out of the public attention. The less material these people had to study the less they seemed to write. He'd only seen a few fics with Batman when he scanned the site. He shuddered and promptly banished the thought from his mind.

Most of the site didn't really concern him. They were all mostly JLA or Titans. Tim snorted. Dick would just love some of the fics here. Apparently since he was flexible it put him up to being the bottom of every fic he was in.

The part that got Robin's attention was the small Young Justice section. 'Small' only when compared to the rest of the site. He'd known it would be bad when the first thing he saw upon clicking the link was his own smirking face. Or to be more accurate, Mr. Sarcastic's face.

Mr. Sarcastic seemed to be very popular among them. They especially liked him with Superboy or the Ray. Sometimes with both at the same time. There were also a few stories that had him with Impulse, and one lone story had him with Robin. Apparently wearing a fishnet shirt and leather pants made him the kinky slut of the team.

Most of the people on the site had figured out that 'Mr. Sarcastic' was really Robin. They even had a little evidence page set up pointing out all the facts. Some very detailed facts that made him wonder if Batman really did know about this site. Robin would have been a little disturbed by the detail if he weren't already thoroughly disturbed.

There were stories for every possible couple, a few threesomes, and one mass orgy.

This was the site that the girl's had been visiting with much frequency lately. This was what made them giggle and whisper when they thought no one was around.

Robin narrowed his eyes.

Checking Cas' folders again Robin scowled. They were...writing. Or Cas was writing, but she seemed to write Ray and Bart mostly. In every fic she also made Superboy drool over her and, perhaps in response to the seemingly overwhelming number of Robin and Superboy fics, made Robin a complete 'phobic ass that the team always ostracized by the end.

Nice to see how much she cared for him.

He was willing to bet that the other girls were writing some of their own fics as well. He logged off and opened their accounts. Some of the other fics he'd seen were just detailed enough to make him think it was them. At least he hoped it was them. He really didn't want to think that somewhere out in the world a complete stranger knew about his birthmark.

Actually, he didn't want to think about the girls knowing about that.

Pushing the disturbing thought to the side Tim found the incriminating files in both Cis and Anita's accounts. Better material than what Cas wrote. It was interesting to notice how much Anita paired Slobo with someone else. Almost made up for Cis' seeming obsession with Robin and Nightwing, and he'd thought she had just been friendly when asking about Dick. Tim shuddered. Incest anyone?

Logging off he sat back to consider the new information he'd learned. He couldn't really say it was a security risk since none of them had actually given anything away, and a lot of what they wrote was taken as author imagination.

Still, there were things in this world he just didn't want to know about. This was one of them. It was really the girls' fault that he'd found out about this slash fiction.

So, they were using their knowledge of the team to add a bit of reality to their fics. Good form for writing, but Tim thought it was highly unfair that they'd left themselves out of the loop. The girls were so concentrated on their teammates' possible sex-lives that they'd forgotten their own.

Well, he could fix that.

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"Oh, Hera-" Cassie trailed off as she looked at the screen dumbfounded.

"What? What is it?" Cissie asked from the floor. Paper strewn around her. "New fic?"

"No," Cas' voice was strangled and she pointed at the screen. "It's a new layout."

"Mon," Anita looked over the girl's shoulder and smirked. "Looks like the interest in femslash has increased."

"What!?" Cis scrambled to her feet and peered over Cas' other shoulder. The three looked at the screen silently with varying degrees of amusement and embarrassment. Cis broke the quiet saying, "You look like a slut, Cas."

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Tim Drake logged onto his email and was slightly surprised at the number of new messages. He was still getting used to the feedback, and was beginning to understand why people would draw or write fics. Granted, most of the feedback was short and misspelled, but it still felt nice to be complimented on something he'd done. And the flames were just hilarious.

Especially the ones he'd been able to trace back to Wonder Girl's account.

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"This is just ridiculous!" Cassie stormed into the TV room. Her face flushed with anger she threw herself onto the couch. "I ever meet this Jack ass I'm going to hit him so hard...!"

"Calm down, mon," Anita sighed. Wonder Girl's fits had been funny to watch at first, but after a solid week of bitching she was getting fed up with it. "You never had a problem with it before."

"But," Cas sputtered indignantly, "he's making me out to be a total ho-slut! I've already been paired up with most any super heroine, and the pics...."

Gods, spare me my sanity, Anita prayed silently as she tuned the other girl out. It was a good thing the movie she was watching was subtitled or she'd have to kill her teammate.

The blonde finally wound down during the second set of commercials and Anita felt annoyed enough to offer her opinion. "We really can't complain seeing as what we write about the guys."

"Yeah," Cas reluctantly admitted. "But that's totally different."

"How?" This should be good, Anita thought to herself.

"At least we know the guys and don't make stuff up about them."

"What!?" Anita stared at the girl in disbelief. "You've made up a lot of bad stuff about Robin."

"I do not!" The blonde protested. "I totally think that's how Rob would react."

"How I would react to what?" Both girls jumped as Robin spoke up. "What are you talking about?"

"I-uh," Cas blushed furiously. "When'd you get in? I thought you were going to be in Gotham."

Anita snickered. Smooth, Wonder Girl wasn't. Robin regarded them with what she thought of as his 'I will figure this out so it's best if you confess now and save yourself some pain and humiliation' face.

"Oh!" Cas jumped off the couch and smiled too brightly. As she flew out of the room she yelled, "I forgot! I have to-uh do something! Bye."

Robin looked at the door silently before turning back to Empress. He didn't need to say anything for her to hear the 'Lets be reasonable.' Anita gulped and thought about being somewhere else. Somewhere far away. Somehow explaining slash to Robin hadn't been on her list of things to do that day.

"Um, you are so not going to like this," she nervously shifted in her seat. "Ok, online there's this community and they write something called slash."

"Oh," Robin frowned. "Is that what that was all about?"

"Oh?" Calm, cool, and collected. Robin sounded like he knew _exactly_ what she was talking about. "What do you mean 'Oh?'"

"You don't think the paranoid Boy Wonder wouldn't know about people writing about the team?" Robin smirked and leaned over the couch. "Or that certain teammates of mine were doing a little writing of their own?"

"Um," Anita squirmed. Of course he'd know what they were doing. He always found things out. Escape seemed like a good option.

His smirk was pure evil as he continued, "You didn't think I wouldn't just let it go without getting a little payback of my own, did you?" Robin laughed at Anita's horrified expression. "Relax, Nita. I'm talking about Cas."

"Yeah," she relaxed back into the couch. Immanent death averted her curiosity was piqued. "She writes some pretty nasty stuff about you, mon. So, what do you plan to do?"

"Oh, nothing I'm not already doing," Rob smiled pleasantly. "I know she was talking about it before I came in."

"Before-" Anita's eyes widened and she grinned delightfully. "That's you!? She's been so worked up by all those fics you wrote."

"Yeah, that was the plan."

The two teens stared at the TV for a bit. Anita had lost all interest in the movie. "Hey, you mind answering a few ques-"

"No," Robin's tone was final and Anita sighed.

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End file.
